He Knows Just What I Need
Coming to YWAM DP I desired answers. Answers of what the Lord has for my purpose, where I am supposed to go after my DTS (Discipleship Training School), how I was going to get to that point, and when that was going to be. In other words, I wanted to know God’s plans. I was thinking that getting these answers, God would just snap His fingers and unfold my future before my eyes. I never would have imagined that God was going to dig into my past as well as confront how I am doing right now, but oh boy He is!
I do not have a horrible past or childhood; just a broken home and what I viewed as normal teenaged troubles. I did not think these things really affected me but I have learned over the past few weeks, that these things have a massive grip on my life. I am challenged daily to assess what I hold to be true, what others say is true about me, and what God reveals to me to be true. Amid the challenges and newly found knowledge of who I am in God (which I’m still finding daily) I find myself surrounded by people that are on fire for God and I find myself growing closer to Him and all that he brings. I see others around me, who in a matter of a week I could call family, struggle to uncover the same strongholds in their lives.
YWAM DP has set-up a community that allows us to connect with one another rapidly and deeply; doing so many things together, lectures, worship, cooking, small groups, homework assignments, chores/work duties, going to town, swimming, snorkelling, and scuba diving to name a few of many. We experience how one another processes, grieves, expresses excitement, etc. Community living here causes us to naturally bond with one another and allows us to have someone to grow with and relate to while still being from all walks of life and coming together for one common purpose; to be better equipped to share our love in Christ with others.
In this time, I have found myself diving deeper in relationships, I come from a family of secrets and I have learned I don’t put my trust in others, God has been doing many things within my heart. He knew that coming to my DTS I wanted to know more about myself and He gave me just that, but in a raw version, in our first week of lectures we touched on foundations: the character and nature of Christ. Then we did identity. This week was a week God had crafted just for what I had asked. As a result, with this newly discovered knowledge of who God sees me as I then find myself struggling to let go of what I see myself as because is it far beneath what God has. After being reminded and gaining yet again, a new understanding of who Christ really is it changes the lies that I believed to be true.
All in all, these first few weeks of DTS have been God-inspiring, being able to learn so much and growing closer to God. I have received more than I thought I would from my entire DTS, but only in the few short weeks I’ve been here. You’ve got this Lord, and you continue to show me repeatedly!